Here's my storybook: Letters from Sita
Please let me know what you liked and, more importantly, what you think I should change. Thank you!
Sita in exile; Image Source
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I've been using Canva tonight to make different graphics, but I thought I would try another site to see what my experience was like with...
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Hi friends! Here's my storybook: Letters from Sita Please let me know what you liked and, more importantly, what you think I should ... -
Hello there! My name is Baylie Locke and I'm a senior biology major here at the University of Oklahoma. The plan is to graduate this s... -
The man grew more and more excited as he watched a dark figure skitter through the trees, ducking between branches and hiding behind trunks....
Baylie, I wanted to read your blog because, like many of us in this class, I am impressed by Sita's love, devotion, and forgiveness she has for Rama throughout the entire story. Even in the second part when Rama banishes her for a crime she proved through fire trial she did not commit. When I read the start of the first story, I was happy to learn that the stories would be written in letter form. I think this makes it easier for a character to get out their true feelings because they are writing them down. I like how you portray Sita as a caring mother, and even though she has loosed the love of her life, she has found the love of her sons. It shows how strong of a woman Sita is even after her husband has once again left her. I am curious to see what the future letters will be written about. Great job, I can't wait to come back and read more!
ReplyDeleteHi Baylie! First of all, I really like the photo you chose for your banner! It is really captivating and draws the audience in before you start reading. Maybe you could do different photos for each tab so that the banner image portrays the story that is written on that particular page so that the audience can have a visual image in mind while reading. You did a great job of summarizing what happened to Sita at the beginning of your introduction. It is really interesting that Sita decides to write letters to her sons so the format of the stories are super creative! I also like that it is all written in first person so you can connect emotionally with Sita and the audience is able to empathize with her even more from seeing what she went through from her own perspective rather than from a narrator’s perspective. That was a great introduction, I can’t wait to read the rest of your stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Baylie! I really like the idea of Sita writing letters to her sons. That way her story is told. I really liked Sita, and definitely thought she did not get the attention she deserves in the story. Will this project be retelling all the things that happened to Sita over her life or will it just be focusing on her life with her sons? Will she tell them the truth about what happened to her and why her and Rama are no longer together? I feel like that would be hard for children to hear. It is such a good idea to have her write letters to her sons. In the story, she goes back to mother earth, just leaving her two sons with Rama, whom they just met. I feel like if they had these letters from her, it would make it easier for them to get to know the real Rama through Sita's eyes. THis may even allow the boys to find a way to forgive Rama. Your introduction is really good and I look forward to reading more. Great job!
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ReplyDeleteHello Baylee! I love the way you have presented your site! The concept of letters to Lava and Kusha from Sita was beautifully designed and portrayed on the site! The background actually looks like a letter with the words printed on there with a typewriter. The introduction to the story was well written but could be elaborated more such that it explains what happened when Sita confronted Rama. The letters seemed a little short and the events could be explained in more detail as well. Sita was an independent, strong, and powerful woman who was not given justice in the Ramayana. Stories based off of the Ramayana created for this class can express her unspoken words so that readers can connect with her on an emotional level. Overall, you have done an excellent job with your site and I cannot wait to read more of your letters from Sita to her sons!
ReplyDeleteHey Baylee,
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I really like how your website/project is set up! I like the layout and everything. I wonder what would happen if you added more vibrant colors. It might make it more appealing to the reader. But over all the website looks amazing.
Onto your stories/storybook idea. It is excellent! I am very interested in Sita and the whole story behind her. I actually did my story last week as a letter from Sita to Rama. She is just so fascinating! I also like the idea of them all being letters. I think it is very personal to her as a character! What if you actually gave titles to each letter versus just saying letter 1,2, and so on. I think that might help the reader identify to the letter before they start reading. Just a thought though! I am looking forward to seeing your project as it grows over the semester!
Hi Baylie,
ReplyDeleteI loved how your website was set up. The colors and the set up is perfect. I also loved how you used Sita as the focal point and how she was writing letters to her sons. That is so unique. This story really pulls me in and I want to read more about Sita and the stories she wants to write. Really the only thing I wish was different was that there was more to read because I am so excited. You really should be proud. Sita and Rama are some of the most interesting people and stories to read about. I really enjoy any story that is retold. Yours was just retold in a whole different way. This just seems so meaningful, I would love to do this for my future children. I just love how homie and relaxed you have made this story. Keep up the good work.
Hi Baylie,
ReplyDeleteYour website design is beautiful; the effort you put into the colors and pictures really added to the tone and feels I got reading your introduction. Very easy to navigate, too.
The setting you chose is genius! Sita leaving letters hidden for her boys is something I can perfectly picture her doing. And this is a great launch point for a series of stories over the latter half of the Ramayana. That's a great idea!
Your first letter (story) is as heartbreaking as it is informative. The flow of the sentences and the style you chose for Sita is spot-on. I really don't have much in the way of critique to offer (which is rare! haha), save that the piece is a little short. I would have enjoyed reading more.
Just a thought though: what if the story exposition includes which, if either, son kept the letters, and how they were gathered together after the fact?
Finally, the picture you chose was actually incorporated into the letter, which was so nifty. Great picture, great story, and great ideas all around. Well done!!!!
Hi Baylie! I love the topic you have chosen for your storybook! In the PDE Ramayana, it did not really get into and talk about the Lava and Kusha, but I am glad you are in your storybook! I enjoyed the introduction you have written, especially the "intro paragraph" to your introduction. The "pre-intro" gave readers a preview of the reasons behind the letters. I love the phrase "the storehouse of my tears..." that you used - it is descriptive and shows the intensity and the degree to which Sita was sad. I love the image you included in the post; however, you could talk a bit more about Sita and Rama's love. In addition, you could possibly talk about why Sita named her sons Lava and Kusha. If there are meanings behind their names, maybe that could be added to show the love Sita has for her kids. Overall, I enjoyed the introduction you have written and I cannot wait to read the rest of your letter stories!
ReplyDeleteHey Baylie,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the premise of your story book. So many people read and write about Rama's adventures from either Rama or even Ravana's perspective. It's interesting to see Sita write about all of it from her perspective in the form of letters to her sons. I like the layout and scheming on your page. The introduction really gets me to look forward to the rest of your stories as well. I believe that it was very well written.
Hey Baylie! I think that the layout of your project is amazing and think that it fits perfectly with the topic that you chose which is also very interesting. I like how you have changed the way the stories usually go by making the viewpoint all coming from Sita as the original stories never truly do so. Your introduction is very creative and fun to read as it made me want to continue following up with your writing. One thing that you have to continue doing is making your writing so simple and easy to read. I love this about your project because it feels as if it is just a common day story I might tell my friend which makes it very entertaining as well as easier to understand. You do a great job of making your writing relatable. I can't wait to keep checking in and reading more as you add to your project!
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ReplyDeleteHey Baylee! I love the style you chosed to present your website! The style of the website fits very well with the story you are writing. The background actually looks like a letter with the words printed on there with a typewriter. The introduction to the story was well written. I just felt that you could explain the back stories and little details little bit more? Sita was presented as a strong and independent woman who was wronged in Ramayana. Maybe you could focus on Sita's emotional state so that readers can relate to her emotionally. Overall, your website was designed very well and the stories seems to match the theme very well ! I will be looking forward to read more of your future stories.
Hey Baylee, i just got done reading over a little bit of your project. I usually start these feedbacks by just looking over the website first. I really like the layout of the website and the header picture is really cool as well! The sunset/sunrise over the towers is really cool and eye catching. I really like your title as well. It is really catchy and makes me want to find out more about the storybook. I like the intro and first letter. I thought you added some good information that would help us in the future letters. I think a little more background on the poet would be nice but that is neither hear nor there for how the story would go. The second letter was great as well. I think that you have a really good storybook here and if you keep up the letter scheme you can have a great complete story for the semester.
ReplyDeleteHi Baylee! I really enjoyed reading your Intro. I like how you added a bit of a background about how she was exiled and why she's writing these letters. The layout it very nice too! I like how you made the background look like a piece of paper. I noticed in the second sentence of the letter you put the word storehouse to describe her sadness. It sounds a bit awkward in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you can change it and say "I have no more tears." and then add then start a new sentence with "Over the last several years...." .
I also like the tone you used in the story. It's very bittersweet since Sita knows she's going to be leaving them. Maybe you can write a letter explaining why she feels the need to leave. I'm very curious about this. I also like the font you used for your writing. It helps set the tone and mood of the story. I look forward to reading more of your stories! Keep up the good work!
I love how you designed your story book project site, and I think you used really cool graphics! The picture in the banner is really beautiful and immediately caught my attention when I went to your page. Your project's homepage makes me excited to start reading. Great job with that.
ReplyDeleteYour intro is very different and original. I love that you started it off with a separate note for your readers to give us a summary of your story and intrigue us to keep reading. The idea of having your storybook composed of letters from Sita is such an original idea. Also, I think that is really neat that Sita discusses the meaning of the picture because it connects the photo directly to the story and shows us how it is significant. I like that you did this instead of just finding a random image online. I like how creative your storybook is and I cant wait to read more!
Hey Baylie,
ReplyDeleteI really liked your website! The background you are using for your letters is working very well. It definitely makes it feel like there's they are written on an actual letter. The font works for it as well. There is one thing you could try out though. I read another story in the Myth-Folklore class that had an introduction that was doing the same thing you are doing with the letter. For his background, he used an image that had frayed edges. I think your background image is great, but perhaps one with those frayed edges could hit what you are trying to do even better? As far as the actual content goes though, I feel like your story is done very well. While reading each letter, I can feel the emotion Sita has while writing them. I will be interested to see what other letters Sita has left for her children! Great job!
Hi, Baylie! I love that your project has a theme with letters. It makes your page very cohesive! I also love the background you chose to use! It makes it look like an actual letter. The language you use definitely fits the time period in my minds eye. I do think, though, that you could make the letter longer! I love what you already have and could definitely use more of it. I think you could also add in some imagery and descriptors so we can truly see what is happening in Sita’s world. In letter 2, I love that we get to see the heart of Sita and the pain she feels as a result of her rough life. Thank you so much for sharing your talents with us. I love what I am reading and can not wait to read more! Best of luck on the remainder of the semester.
ReplyDeleteHello Baylie. Great storybook so far. You did a great job at writing letters from Sita's perspective. These letters should almost be included and he original and fit right in. Reading the letters was heartbreaking and the p.s. with the picture made the letter even sadder. Capturing that level of emotion is difficult and you did a great job. Your authors note was also very thorough and gave plenty of background and I liked how you explained your thought process and what you were trying to accomplish with your writing. I also liked how colorful your language was. One thing I think that could be inproved is the titles and homepage. The home page seems a little plain and could use a little pizaz. I think that simply calling the letters one and two works but maybe would be even better as something different. Overall great project so far and i am looking forward to seeing how the rest comes along.
ReplyDeleteHi Baylie! I really like your storybook so far. I'm from the mythology and folklore class, so it's fun to read a little about the stories you're reading for the Indian epics class. I like the way you set up your site so it looks like Sita's letters are actually written on paper. You did a good job of presenting Sita's point of view and emotions through her letters. I could really tell how much she loves her sons and how grief stricken she is over being forced to leave Rama.
ReplyDeleteHey Baylie, I have come back to your project and it looks great!! I like how you have continued to follow your original idea about making each story a letter. It is very creative and it sets your project apart from some of the other ones.
ReplyDeleteYour latest two letters are very good. I had read the first one so I focused on the last two and I was extremely impressed. I like how you have incorporated a background to each letter to give it an actual letter feel. Like an old time hand written letter. I also really enjoyed the pictures you chose with each of them.
the only suggestions I have would be to maybe make the font a little bigger so that it is easier to read. you could also put a more detailed description of your project on the home page so readers know what they are getting into. Over all great project and keep up the good work!
Hey Baylie! I'm back! I read the rest of your story and really enjoyed it! I like the tone it had to it while reading. I could tell Sita loved her sons alot. I like how she teaches them in the letters not to listen to rumors and to learn from their father's mistakes. I feel like Sita may have made some mistakes she never mentions them. I like how you used the picture as part of your story.
ReplyDeleteHave you thought of putting the date on the letter to make it seem more real? The title is good to but I was just curious. I really like how each letter has a theme to it and how each one is based off of Sita's experiences with Rama. I noticed in the third paragraph you wrote
"We faced hardships, but we grew to love each other..."
It makes it sounds like Rama, Lakshmana, and Sita grew to love each other. Maybe you can say:
"We faced hardships, but your father and I grew..."
I liked how you were able to make Sita not hate Rama. When I read the story, I was not happy with Rama's decision and could not have been able to write a story like this without being bias towards him. You did a great job!
Hello Baylie,
ReplyDeleteI am back to revisit a storybook. WOW, it has changed so much. I love all the new stories you have added and I always enjoy the pictures you use in your stories. I really like how your storybook is unfolding. I think it is still so adorable that she is writing to her sons. I think you have done a great job at capturing the mom aspect. I love how the stories flow but at the same time they are completely different. I like how you incorporated hardships and explained to them that it grew their relationship.I think many people grow from the hard things in life. I know I sure did. I really did enjoy your storybook. I cannot wait to see the finished results. We only have four more weeks. Good luck and have a good rest of the semester. You did a great job.
Hi Baylie! This is my second time visiting your project. The last time I visited, I read your introduction. I still really love the idea of Sita writing letters to her sons.Wow! I am so impressed with your work. Putting these stories in letter form and in first person makes them so intense. I honestly felt like I was there and could feel what Sita felt as she was writing the letters. The stories are so intense, and very descriptive. I love that Sita is writing the letters for her boys. I wonder if Sita knows she will meet Rama again and when she does, she knows she will beg Mother Earth to take her into her womb, when she is writing these letter. Perhaps, is that why she is writing the letter? Is this how she will keep her love for Rama known, by writing their story in the form of letters? This project is one of the best I have read. Overall, great job and good luck finishing up the semester. I look forward to seeing the finished project.
ReplyDeleteHi Baylie! This is the first time I am visiting your storybook. I feel like I should have definitely visited before because we are actual friends (thank you, Phi Lamb). I really enjoyed going through your portfolio! I went back and read your week 2 story of The Nervous Student. I found it hilarious because I can relate so much. You did an incredible expressing their emotions and how much they felt in those moments. The end was really peaceful and brought a lot of hope to the situation, which I know means a lot in reality. Your most recent story Letter 3 really showed a vivid relationship between the father and sons. That was a super detailed version and important when explaining family dynamics! Your portfolio looks great! I really like the background with the books, probably because I'm a bookworm and books look good anywhere. Thank you for sharing your project with us! I look forward to reading more from you next week. Good luck on the finished project!
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